Helpful Musings

I hope I at least got to help some people.

pa747sp:

ih8religion:

Christian group books anti-gay ads to appear on buses

“A ‘gay therapy’ campaign to appear in London is aimed at changing the sexual orientation of homosexual people”

[Source]  London buses have been booked to carry a Christian advertising campaign expected to start next week, which asserts the power of therapy to change the sexual orientation of gay people.

The full length advert, which will appear on five different routes in the capital, is backed by the Core Issues Trust whose leader, Mike Davies, believes “homoerotic behaviour is sinful”. His charity funds “reparative therapy” for gay Christians who believe that they have homosexual feelings but want to become straight. The campaign is also backed by Anglican Mainstream, an worldwide orthodox Anglican group whose supporters have equated homosexuality with alcoholism.

The advert will say: “Not gay! Post-gay, ex-gay and proud. Get over it!” Post-gay and ex-gay are terms used by Christians and some psychotherapists and psychiatrists to refer to homosexual people who have undergone spiritual or pastoral therapy and, according to an Anglican Mainstream definition, have “now left a homosexual lifestyle [and experienced] an increased emotional and sexual attraction to the opposite biological gender and possibly a reduction in or loss of same-sex attraction.”

The buses are due to roll out on Monday morning on some of the most popular routes. They will be seen for two weeks travelling past St Paul’s Cathedral, down Oxford Street, round Trafalgar Square and through Piccadilly Circus as well as across other parts of the capital.

The campaign is an explicit attempt to hit back at gay rights group Stonewall, which ran its own bus advert saying: “Some people are gay. Get over it.” The Christian groups have used the same black, red and white colour scheme as Stonewall and accuses it of promoting the “false idea that there is indisputable scientific evidence that people are born gay”.

The Rev Lynda Rose, a spokesperson for the UK branch of Anglican Mainstream said because her group adheres to scripture that all fornication outside marriage is prohibited, it believes that homosexuals are “not being fully the people God intended us to be”.

It has sparked an angry response from gay rights campaigners.

The former Europe minister and gay ex-vicar, Chris Bryant MP, said the advert was cruel, particularly to teenagers struggling to come to terms with their sexuality, for promoting the idea that you could become “ex-gay”.

“The emotional damage that is done to the individuals who try to suppress their sexuality, the women they marry and the children they might have is immeasurable,” he said. “Most sane Christians believe that homosexuality is not a lifestyle or a choice but is a fact to be discovered or not. The pretence that homosexuality is something you can be weaned off in some way is a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of creation.”

Ben Summerskill, the chief executive of Stonewall, said the adverts were clearly homophobic and added: “The only reason some gay people might want to stop being gay is because of the prejudice of the people who are publishing the ad.

“The promotion of this voodoo therapy is hugely irresponsible given the damage that it appears to do to some people.”

Attempts to “treat” or alter sexual orientation have been strongly condemned by leading medical organisations. The Royal College of Psychiatrists has warned that “so-called treatments of homosexuality create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourish” and concluded in 2010 that “there is no sound evidence that sexual orientation can be changed”. The British Medical Association has also attacked “conversion therapy”, a related field to reparation therapy, passing a motion asserting that it is “discredited and harmful to those ‘treated’ “.

Rose said therapies endorsed by Anglican Mainstream and Core Issues were not coercive and stressed that they are appropriate for people who want to change their sexual attractions, for example if they are married and are worried about the impact of a gay lifestyle on their children.

“Reparative therapy works to help men, who want to change their sexual orientation, naturally dissipate their homoerotic feelings and maximise their heterosexual potential,” she said.

In a statement, Anglican Mainstream and Core Issues said Stonewall’s slogan is “merely another attempt to close down the critical debate about being gay, and marriage ‘equality’ “. They accused Stonewall of riding roughshod over individuals who chose to “move out of homosexuality”.

The statement continued: “Both organisations recognise the rights of individuals to identify as gay, and to live according to their own values. But by the same token, they believe individuals – such as married men and women unhappy with their homosexuality – should be supported in developing their heterosexual potential where this is the appropriate life choice for them … Current scientific research says there is no gay gene and that sexuality is far more fluid than has hitherto been thought.”

Assuming that the campaign prompts complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority it is likely to be investigated against the advertising code rules relating to harm and offence and potentially to truthfulness and substantiation.

According to the code an advertisement must not contain content that is likely to cause serious or widespread offence. However the fact that a campaign is offensive to some people does not mean it will necessarily be banned.

“Particular care must be taken to avoid causing offence on the grounds of race,religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability or age,” rule 4.1 of the code states. “Compliance will be judged on the context, medium, audience, product and prevailing standards”

The campaign could also prompt complaints about whether or not the statements that relate to “reparative therapy” – “post-gay, ex-gay” – can be substantiated by the Christian group.

This is full-on anti-gay Christian hate!! If Core Issues Trust thinks that “homoerotic behaviour is sinful”, then they had better stay well-clear of Tumblr!!

-Ty

Its funny how it is only Christian (or other Abrahamic religions) who set up these bogus ‘we can cure your homosexuality’ groups. Because they are unable to conceive that homosexuality is 1) an expression of sexuality, rather than a sinful behaviour, and 2) that, other than the church, no one else really has a problem with it.

The solution to dealing with the ‘problem’ of homosexuality is to treat those who see it as a problem. Helping people move to a life without religion would be a much more worthwhile process. Because whilst we know you cant ‘treat’ homosexuality, religion, as a learned belief, certainly can be cured.

(via seahorsebear)

Say three nice things about random people every day.

Always compliment someone in elevators. It alleviates the awkward situation posed by being in close proximity with a stranger in a small environment.

Ask people if they need help.

Always smile at people.

Anger seems to be a pervasive emotion. Doctors meet up with angry patients regularly. Pastors and counselors encounter angry people trying to deal with personal problems or problems in the family and at work. Parents and teachers see children who seem angry at their siblings, angry at the system, angry at their parents, or angry for no particular reason. Yet, the problem of anger often goes unaddressed, and it seldom just goes away.

Is Anger Harmful?

The answer: Not all the time. In fact, anger has its positive aspects. Consider the following three points: (1) The capacity to feel anger is natural; it is built into our bodies and is important for moderating our physical and emotional levels or for us to “fight” with an elevated level of energy; (2) Anger is a signal that something is wrong. Like pain, anger signals a need for correction. Long-term suppression of these signals may be emotionally and socially harmful. Anger may be the last emotion to resist numbness and despair, and is thus a survival mechanism, a last ditch attempt to make good; (3) Anger warns others to be careful. Anger serves as the “relationship cue” that helps to indicate tension and even danger. Getting angry when expressing grief is a typical example of such “relationship cue” anger.

Being Angry All The Time

Yet there is a serious down side to anger. First, anger can open a gateway to a spiral of despair. Getting angry on a frequent basis increases our sensitivity to things that make us angry (Step 1). Accompanying increased sensitivity is a reduced ability to manage anger (Step 2), followed by an increase in the intensity of vented anger (Step 3). The usual relief that follows anger is reduced with each incident of anger (Step 4), leading to a greater sensitivity to situations of anger (Step 1).

Second, chronic anger chokes out other feelings and becomes a solution for most problems. If there is an awareness of chronic anger, then the person goes into a guilt-binge cycle, that is, unsuccessfully suppressing anger because of guilt feelings, then getting intensely angry without reserve, and then returning to anger suppression. This cycle prevents the person from learning other ways to express feelings.

And third, the chronically angry person nurtures a social and emotional environment that promotes anger. Blame, vengeance, unkindness, sarcasm, cynicism, and a critical spirit pervade the most meaningful social exchanges, while withdrawal, depression and loneliness characterizes non-social periods. Physical aggression against self or others then becomes a constant threat.

Why Are You Angry?

It is often difficult to explain a feeling as intense as anger. However, there are some specific antecedents of anger that are well documented.

(1) Substance Abuse. Alcohol intoxication and withdrawal, withdrawal from tranquilizers and barbiturates, and use of cocaine, marijuana, anabolic steroids, PCP (Phencyclidine), and amphetamines all produce degrees of irritability, anger, hostility and sometimes aggression.

(2) Depression. A characteristic sign of depression (and burnout) is a general mood of irritability, and frustration that sometimes expresses itself as self-blame, joylessness and despair.

(3) Anxiety. Like depression, anxiety also accompanies irritability and anger responses. The high levels of activity may translate into violent, aggressive expression and lowered tolerance of others.

(4) A history of abuse. Abusive backgrounds often produce angry people. Even children who come from physically or emotionally abusive families tend to exhibit a great deal of anger, often accompanied by aggression.

(5) Grief. Anger is a common response when dealing with an intense loss. Such losses may come in numerous forms: death, divorce, marital separation, breakdown of the family, financial failure, failure to achieve a significant goal, embarrassment (loss of “face”), and loss of health (especially terminal illness).

An Anger Kept

The 19th century poet William Blake wrote with great insight: “I was angry with my friend; I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow.” We examined earlier that anger that is vented may not entirely constitute the answer to anger resolution, since it may merely increase our sensitivity to the situations that make us angry. Yet, keeping anger in may not be the answer either. In fact, angering inwards merely increases emotional strain to a breaking point.

Consider the following expressions of angering inward:

(1) Bitterness. Bitterness is often defined as “anger that is retained”, and has two general effects. First, it spreads anger around to those in close association with the angry person; and second, it increases the number of issues over which the person becomes angry.

(2) Hatred. Hatred may be defined as “anger that is hardened”. The anger may express itself through seeming coolness, and even activity that appears very directed. Yet, both the apathy and activity generated by hatred often constitute some destructive intent.

Angering No More

With the stack seemingly loaded against the one who angers, it would not be inappropriate to ask, “Can I really cease angering?” Fortunately, there is a hopeful answer to the problem.

First, figure out the source of your anger. You may require a psychologist or a qualified counsellor to help you identify the sources, since some of these sources may not be immediately evident. They may range from a physiological root to an emotional one; some problems may reside in the past, and others are factors that are current and easily observable.

Second, stop anger where it begins. Learn to express anger by describing your feelings and the situation or behaviour that made you angry when or shortly after the situation occurs. Do not lapse into making statements about attitude, character or intent. For example, your spouse forgets to pay the VISA bill for the third consecutive month. Express your anger appropriately: “This is the third time you forgot to pay the VISA bill (the behaviour). I get really frustrated when you do this (your feelings).” Here is an inappropriate expression of anger: “I knew it! I feel you’re irresponsible and careless (character assumption). You just don’t listen to what I say, do you (attitude assumption)? You’re just doing this to hurt me (intent assumption).” Notice that the words “I feel” in the second example do not really serve the function of expressing feelings.

Third, be willing to release your anger. Hanging on to anger can only exacerbate its effects on you and those you love. Often, anger destroys the angry person and affects a good number of innocent victims before it injures its intended target. Hence, letting go of anger does not mean that you are letting the offender go free; it simply means that you are granting yourself liberty from anger’s clutches.

Seeking Help

Chronic anger is often an indicator that help is required. Since the antecedents of anger are often multifaceted, a network of mental and medical health professionals would usually be needed in order for all the possible factors leading to chronic anger to be treated. Allow a counsellor or your family physician to help you set up that network for you through their systems of referral.

Anger management programs must be selected carefully on the recommendation of a psychologist, a qualified counsellor or a physician knowledgeable in the field of anger treatment. While many anger management programs have numerous worthwhile qualities, some programs may not serve to address the issues at the core of an individual’s chronic anger.

Above all, be aware that chronic anger is not a problem simply to be ignored. Seek help.

“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” (Ephesians 4:26, 27. The NASV Bible)

Author: T. Quek

Many people hesitate to admit or expose their own anger. Usually they have witnessed ill effects of this emotion so they have resolved not to be lowered to crude or abrupt expressions of any kind. When an anger producing circumstance occurs, these people stoically put on a good front and pretend to have no anger at all. “Who me? Angry? No, really, everything is just fine.”

To get an idea if this practice is common to you, see how many of the following statements might apply to you fairly frequently.

• I can be image conscious. I don’t like to let other know my problems.
• Even when I feel flustered, I try to present myself as having it all together.
• I am rather reserved about sharing my problems or frustrations.
• If a family member or friend upsets me I can let days pass without discussing it.
• I have a tendency to be depressed or moody.
• Resentful thinking is common for me, although many people would never suspect it.
• I have suffered from physical complaints (for example, headaches, stomach aliments, sleep irregularities)
• There are times when I doubt the validity of my own opinions or preferences.
• Sometimes I feel paralyzed when confronted with an unwanted situation.
• I’m not inclined to initiate conversations about sensitive of troublesome topics.

The more of these statements that you can check, the more inclined you are to suppress your anger. Be aware, though, that this does not mean your problems with anger are solved. In fact, they are only heightened. Think of your kitchen trash sack. When you place trash there, then no one takes it out at the end of the day, you can probably get away with it. But let’s suppose several more days go by and it still has not been taken out. It gets overflowing and smelly! The same can be said about the suppression of anger. If you do not let it out, at first it would seem that you have avoided a problem, but over time be prepared to live with the effects of many emotional issues that have “piled up” in your personality. The result will be depression, bitterness, disillusionment and the like.

Anonymous asked: I'm in a bind. I have two friends that I'd still like to call my friends, but that's so strained right now. One of them is my ex, who I still have feelings for, and the other was like my rock. She pushed me to tell my ex about how I feel, so I went for it with all kinds of confidence. But I got shot down and found out that they're both already seeing each other. I was angry, but didn't react much, and now my friend who pushed me to it isn't talking to me at all. I'm... not sure what to do.

I must really sincerely apologize for the large delay in our response time. However, we haven’t actually been able to sit down together and review your dilemma together. Thus I’m having a go at it by myself. I hope this isn’t an issue, I will however try and have Unum write up his own response later and post that on separate. I couldn’t in good conscience though let this gap in time drag out any further than it already has.

Anyway.

In answer to your question, I have to say, this is quite a troubling ask. I really have to say I find it disgusting how friends sometimes treat each other, particularly in the love department. I’ll try and answer this as best I can, though with little experience to draw from, it may not be the BEST response ever. I own up to this fault readily, so that your expectations aren’t too high. I would honestly wait for Unum’s answer, which might be a bit more satisfactory, since I think he can honestly relate a little bit more than me.

First off, we have your friend, who pushed you into spilling forth your feelings to your ex with high hopes of a positive reaction. I think you should hold your friend largely at fault. Not to say you should attack her or anything, just that a good scolding could go a far way. What she did was wrong, and I’m sure she knows it. To go behind a friend’s back like that and date her significant, and then to push the two apart further the way she did, is a horrible trait. She ought to be ashamed of herself.

Coming between two people, no matter what state of affection they are in, is just wrong. I don’t care if a relationship is crumbling to ruins; until it is officially OVER, no one should get in between of the two, and they should reach this ending by themselves.

Then, on the part of your now ex, I find his lack of commitment to be depressingly shallow. I’m sure he lost quite a great catch when he dumped you for your friend. His actions toward you were wrong, and you should express you distaste in them however you see fit. Make both of your friends understand that what they did, in the way that they did it, was wrong to you.

Now, to address you. Firstly, you have every right to be angry. I wouldn’t suggest acting out on those feelings of anger, but definitely do find an outlet for them. You said you didn’t really react much to this startling news. While that may be one way to deal with these emotions, it is really the wrong way altogether.

By not reacting and bottling these emotions like this, you are inadvertently doing two things. Both of which are not in your or anyone else’s best interest. The first effect of not reacting, is the outward one. By choosing to not show your angry and upset, it communicates to your friends that you are completely ok with them seeing each other, and that you aren’t hurt in the least by their offense.The second effect is the more personal one. This effect, quite simply, is damaging to your emotional health. Bottling up emotions is, as a matter of fact, unhealthy. It can lead to some pretty dangerous things, like feeling like no one notices how you feel, feelings of loneliness, and depression. You really need to put your emotions out there on display sometimes. Find some kind of outlet that won’t hurt anybody else, that still gets the message across.

In the end, while I understand you are hurt, my biggest suggestion, is (and this may sound harsh) just to get over it. Its gonna suck, and it isn’t fair, but you can’t force them into something else that they won’t agree to. The fact of the matter is, they both chose this path, and they will have to deal with the consequences just as much as you will. Let them know how you feel, and show that you are hurt, but ultimately, show that you are better than that, and better than them, in that you will still hold your head up high, and you’ll find someone better to date, and you’ll find a better friend.

In the long run, he wasn’t meant for you anyway. I mean honestly, do you really want to date someone who would leave you just like that? No questions asked, no explanations. Just, “see you” and then he goes off to date the next girl? I would wager not. Really hold out for the one who loves you truly. Somewhere in this world, are several people who are your soul mate. I believe that there are more tham one soul mate for every person out there. Of both sexes, whether you are male, female; straight, gay, bi, or any other sexuality or gender association. Somewhere in the world, there are people who are your ideal mate, someone you are so akin to, that you are perfect for each other. And when you meet these people, you will make lasting, and strong bonds of friendship. And one of those lucky gents will get to be your one. And he will love you with all his heart, and never want to leave you.

And while, I encourage dating around for the experience. Definitely make sure to hold out until you know the one you are with, is one of those special ones. Who loves you just as much as you love him.

You are a wonderful person, and you will over come this. It is but only a small stepping stone in the path of life. There will be many more, of varying shapes and sizes, different colors and patterns. But as long as you keep moving on to the next step, you will never have to say that you were held down by some one who proved they weren’t worth your time to begin with.

I hope that helped. At least somewhat. I hope I answered your question well. Do with it what you will. Good luck, be well.

~Orbus.

Another ask to my private blog.

Here again, I must confess that it really varies a lot. If it were me, I would wait until I’ve moved out of their house, and gotten a job and am paying for things myself.

I hate the idea of being in a situation where they could potentially cut me off or throw me out. I’d hate for that to happen to you.

Another good idea might be to confide in your sister. I don’t know how good your relationship with her is, but she could be really good emotional support for you. I’d come out to her first. She would be better understanding, seeing as she is bi.

Also, about the grandchildren thing. Even as a gay guy, there are other ways of acquiring children besides adoption. Particularly what with you having a sister who’s bi.

This might be a crazy thought, and you’re TRULY have to talk to her about it, and part of it would depend on whether she ended up with a woman. BUT, assuming all things went that way. You could always go with the surrogate mother route. Basically, you’re eventual husband could donate his sperm, and your sister and or your sisters wife could become a surrogate mother to your baby. If your sister agreed to host your partners baby, then it would share your parents DNA and would legitimately be a part of your blood family. The same could be said about you. You could donate your sperm and your sister’s partner could agree to become your surrogate mother. Yet again, still a blood relation to your parents.

It may seem a little odd. But its actually something that DOES happen. I know families who have two daughters and one of the daughters was infertile and her sister volunteered to become a surrogate mother for her sister and husband. It works, and its completely ok.

This is if you even WANT a baby however. Though, if you sister and her eventual partner wanted a baby, I don’t see why you or your partner couldn’t volunteer up the male half of the ordeal.

And NO, this doesn’t mean you have to have sex with your sister or her partner. So… don’t freak out. I’m only saying ifs and such. I’m not suggesting you SHOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THIS.

Just a viable option for the future.

Anyway. Back to the original question. Like I said, I would wait to come out until you are out from underneath your parents thumb. Financially and shelter wise. I’d hate for you to be tossed out onto the streets. (Though I doubt your parents would be THAT heartless)

I hope this helps. Ask away if you have any other questions. I’ll always answer them.

P.S. - even though you say you parents don’t like the thought of adoption, it is a totally viable and suggestable option. I fully support adoption because there are more kids out there than the world needs already. Better to adopt a lost and forgotten child who feels unwanted, than to bring yet another baby into the world. Give a kid a home who needs it. My own boyfriend was adopted, and if it weren’t for his adoption parents, who knows where he’d be right now. Most likely, not with me. :<

~Orbus

This is a question I got on my personal blog. Thought I’d share my response over here.

Hello. Wow. ok. I’ll help as best I can.

In answer to your question. Yes and no.

I haven’t actually come out to my parents. My Mom knows, but she found out in possibly the worst way possible (well…. almost)

My Mom found out through a series of heart nailing questions that I was dating an older guy (at the time). It was very painful, and it hurt, and she said things out of pain that I will never truly forgive her for. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life.

However, this is not how coming out has to (or should) be.

This isn’t to say that its the end of the world. My Mom is pretty cool with me being gay now. We don’t talk about it much, which is just how I like it.

My biggest piece of advice is be in charge of your own coming out. Don’t let it just accidentally happen. And don’t let it slip out in a way that could compromise you. For example, coming out of the closet because your parents found you sleeping with another guy is NOT the best situation.

Take charge of it. Or they will turn the tables on you (unless you have the coolest parents in the world).

A few side notes. I would try to gauge their feelings on gays before you actually come out. Maybe make a comment on a gay character in a movie or something. Or mention you saw a clip of a gay celebrity and something they did was really cool or something. See how they react. If its positive, go ahead and tell them. If its super negative, I’d stay in the closet.

It may hurt some, but sometimes staying in the closet IS the best course of action. I still haven’t come out to my Dad. I likely won’t be coming out of my closet until I have left this house and am safe in my own house, living off my own money. There’s no chance I’m going to come out while I’m still in a position where they could hurt me. Such as disown me. If they are going to disown me (which I doubt, but never the less) I’d rather it be done when I’m actually already living off my own devices.

Apart from that, just tell them. I’d say try not to make it such a huge overwhelming big deal. Its not like coming out changes who you are. You are still you. If you come to your parents and reveal you are gay in a big dramatic way or something, its gonna be like the world is suddenly flipped upside down. Often times, things become more than what they are, because we make them that way.

So you are gay, so what? Just means you like other dudes. Doesn’t mean you are gonna act any different or anything. When you do come out, be as calm and nonchalant as possible. Rather than making it like some grand reveal, or like you’ve been hiding some huge gigantic secret, instead just let it out as if you were talking about any little thing.

And the most important thing is, no matter how they react, you aren’t alone. Millions of other guys and girls are going through the same thing you are. Yes, none of their cases are going to be EXACTLY like yours. But it doesn’t change the fact that if you need, there are places you can go for support.

Oh… and one more thing. Just because you want to tell them you are gay. Doesn’t mean they need to hear about all the details of what you are into or what you do in bed. That’s something private and only needs to be shared if you are comfortable sharing, and if they don’t mind hearing. Certain things just don’t need to be said to your parents. Lol…. ever.

If they do ask questions. Be open about it. This is your moment, and you are in control, not them. Make it clear about how you feel, and what it means to you. If they want to know what your type is or if you are still a virgin or something, share what you feel comfortable with. (And if you aren’t a virgin but don’t want them to know that…. lie.)

And, my big piece of advice for AFTER you’ve come out. Share your story. Help other teens and other people who may be struggling to. Help out however you can. Hopefully, some day, the fear of coming out to one’s parents will be a thing of the past.

I’m here to talk whenever you want/ need. I’ll always listen.

~Orbus

Because nobody ever sends asks here anymore.

Its both saddening and in a off handed way, kind of satisfying.

sad that no one asks for help.

been good because unless people ask it, we just have to assume nobody needs the help. -shrug-

But really. Ask away, and give us some signal boosts. We still aren’t well known. We’d like to change this, and get to more people.

Anonymous asked: I'm not going to act on these feelings. Ever. I don't want to leave him. Or even hurt him. I just want help. What should I do? I love him. I want him to be my only. But what are these residual feelings and why are they doing this to me? What should I do? Should I talk to him about them? Or just try to forget about them? Or hide them? I'm just confused. We're in love. Why should I be thinking about this other guy at all, when I've already got the one for me???

Alright. First off, you should take a deep breath and relax. You are worrying more than is necessary for this.

Now. What you are feeling is a lot more common than you think. And you can’t help feeling that way. Its not just something you can truly block out, unless you’re just VERY good at suppressing feelings.

Its also common to wonder ‘what if’, not just in dating. You think on things and wonder if you made the right choice, or feel upset at yourself for not doing something different. However, rather than doing that and getting yourself stuck in the past, you should focus on the present, and the future with your boyfriend.

The fact you know not to act on them and very, very eagerly make it clear you won’t is a good sign. Whether you speak to him about them or not is your choice- if you feel it’ll help, then by all means, say something. Make clear you won’t act and don’t want the feelings. If he loves you, he’ll listen, and won’t get upset once you explain things.

And as time goes on, the feelings will slowly fade- the people you like/liked will find someone, or move on, or you yourself will move on- time does that.

Take it from someone that’s felt that way in the past. It will get better.

I wish you the best.

-Unum-

Anonymous asked: (part 3) I'm afraid. I'm scared of what these feelings could do. To me. To my relationship. He's really the best thing that ever happened to me. and I love him so, soo much. I don't want to lose him. But why do I still feel like sometimes i wanna be with other guys. Like if things were different. and I was dating him instead. The other guy. What would that be like. Would I be happy? I don't WANT to think about these things. But my head just does it. Its like this curiosity inside me. Burning.

[Answer will be in the final part]

Anonymous asked: (part 2) It kind of bothers me. I don't know how to deal with those emotions. What do I do with them. I'll always love my guy, but those crushes I had... have. They just don't go away. Like. there's this one guy in particular. He's really cute, and such a sweetie. A part of me could see myself dating him instead. and that part of me kind of resents that I'll never be able to even explore that option?? I guess... Its all so confusing. I don't want these feelings. They just are there.

[Answer will be in the final part]

Anonymous asked: So... This one is to Unum. No offense Orbus, I just... figure it'd be nice if Unum got some just to himself. Since you got so many before. I dunno, I'm weird. Anyway. Um... So, I'm dating this guy. and he's really really grand, and sweet, and I love him to pieces, but... I dunno. I just. I have these feelings... for other men. Men I liked before I knew him. and I'd never leave him for them, I wanna be with him forever. Its just. I still have some residual feelings for those other guys...

My apologies for the delayed response. I’ve had some troubles of my own to deal with. I’ll post the full response in the final part.

-Unum

Thanks for following. Feel free to ask for any kind of advice you need. We are always here.

(well… mostly always here. we may be asleep or something at certain points, but we WILL always answer ASAP)